Hidden Behind the Filter
When I was younger, in middle school, I got picked on by some mean girls who were supposed to be my friends. I remember going home and crying almost every day telling no one of my pain. When time passed and I made better friends, I thought that pain I had experienced would fade away. I mean, I was a devout Christian who went to church every time the doors were open. I was well-kept and seemed to have everything right. However, anytime I saw one of those girls on my Instagram feed I cringed in anger. I would even get deeply bothered if I felt the slightest bit of cold shoulder or silent treatment from anyone. I never realized my issue until it got worse and I exploded on a dear friend that did not deserve it. This was the result of my unforgiveness. This was the result of my filter.
On the outside, I had everything right, but on the inside, I was a mess.
Consider Zacchaeus, he was known for being too short to see Jesus. I wonder what life was like for Zacchaeus. I imagine he was picked on by other kids, rejected, and left behind in the shadows. I bet he knew what it was like to be picked last for dodgeball. I bet he did everything in his power to seem like he had his life together, and I bet he would never do anything to purposely humiliate himself. However, he did humiliate himself to see Jesus, and he did not let past hurt stop him from running before the crowd to see his Savior. He had to deal with the hurt and rejection. He had to forgive.
Having unforgiveness in our heart separates us from the fullness of God. In fact, the Bible speaks clearly on this subject.
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
Wow, what a bold declaration! For a subject that seems so basic and elementary, there is so much at risk when we forsake the act of forgiveness. We should be checking ourselves daily, with the help of the Holy Ghost, for any areas in our lives that we have unforgiveness.
Three Questions You Must Ask Yourself
There are 3 common symptoms of unforgiveness. Ask yourself, and the Holy Spirit, these three questions to see if you are harboring any root of unforgiveness:
Question 1: Am I bitter?
Hebrews 11:15 says, ““Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”
When you hold on to the hurt that others cause you, the hurt creates a root of bitterness in your heart. Bitterness will hold you back from loving others the way Christ has called you to love. If something triggers bitterness within you, you are probably battling with unforgiveness.
Question 2: Am I fearful?
“Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, In this I will be confident.” Psalms 27:3 NKJV
The Lord wants us to trust Him and be fearless. However, when you have been hurt over and over again, fear often creeps in and if it goes unaddressed, you will lose all confidence and begin tip-toeing through life. Have you ever been let down by someone? Maybe by someone you trust? Does that keep you from trusting others? If so, you may have an unforgiveness issue.
Question 3: Am I defensive?
You have heard it said before, but it is just true, hurt people hurt people. When something has left you feeling broken and violated, it makes sense to avoid vulnerability like a plague. So, to avoid getting hurt again, you live in defense mode. It typically manifests like this: you are always right and others are always wrong. Your flaws are hidden, I mean what flaws? Yet, those around you are so flawed that a blind man could see them. But Jesus said, “Why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” (Matthew 7:3 NLT) If you are always in defense mode, you are probably trying to protect a wounded heart that desperately needs to forgive.
Set The Prisoner Free
When you really stop to evaluate your life, in light of these three questions, are there areas that you need to let go of? Lewis Smedes said it best, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” If you are harboring unforgiveness it is time to lay down the filter and cry out to God. Join us next week as we dive deeper into this subject and embrace living with #NoFilter!
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.-Lewis Smedes
