For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. I remember the conversations Caleb and I would have about our future children, and of course, that made me excited about the future. We decided to wait on children and enjoy our marriage for five years. Fast forward, Caleb and I cut our five year plan short when we received a prophetic word, from a man of God, about our children. We had been married three years and we had our ducks in a row. We were ready! Or so we thought. We started trying to conceive the very next month. When the time came to take a pregnancy test, we got a negative result. So, again the next month: negative. This went on and on for months. We received a negative result every month. I should add that I was also dealing with some hormonal imbalances at the time which made it hard to determine ovulation, but we kept trying. 

Camp Tribe rolled around, a youth camp that we volunteer at every year, and while we were there, another man of God (that we trust dearly) gave us another word regarding our children. He specifically said that he could see me singing on that platform pregnant. I was thrilled! So, when we returned home from camp, I was so sure that I was pregnant: false. At that time we decided to go see a specialist, and whatever they had to say wouldn’t shake our faith because we had a word from God and knew we would have kids in His time. Sounds like big faith, huh? Well, when I got my results back from the ultrasound, my uterus looked like Swiss cheese. Swiss cheese! I had been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, making it challenging or nearly impossible to have children. 

So more months went by and we were approaching our year anniversary of trying to conceive. We had both been through so much emotionally and spiritually. I knew God could do it but I wasn’t sure if he would do it for me. I was in a rough place of questioning the Lord and His love for me. So, I knew I had to do something. I decided to fast and ask God what His will was for my life. He began to pour out love like I had never experienced before. He taught me how to to trust Him no matter what it looks like. He also instructed me that I needed to make some lifestyle adjustments for my health to prepare my body for pregnancy. (Read more on this here) 

Caleb and I went on a ministry trip, and while we were there, we had a tough but good conversation. We decided that we would stop focusing on having a baby and just let God give us a baby in His time. We decided to solely put our focus on ministry and His will for our family. We were staying in faith but we weren’t going to give all of our attention to this issue. We were just resting on God’s promises, following what we felt He led us to do regarding my health, and trusting His timing.

When we returned home, my mother convinced me to take another pregnancy test. I said (with a sassy attitude), “I have taken 26 pregnancy tests, and God and I had a chat. He is going to give us a baby later in life.” She urged me to just do it. So, of course, I listened to my mom and took one.

I. WAS. PREGNANT.

God just wanted us to trust Him! I learned so much on this journey and couldn’t be more thankful for what I learned on the journey. I also couldn’t be more in love with my baby boy!

(I will post a blog in more detail later on about my journey in trusting the Lord on a deeper level and some of the faith steps we took along the way.)

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